How to be a Man

The moment I found out I was going to be a father of boys I began to plan "the talk". No perverts, I'm not talking THAT talk. Birds and bees are for pamphlets awkwardly slid under bedroom doors. The "How to be a man" talk. What kind of people should they be, how should they act? I began writing down a list of how to's, but I stopped myself.

The further I got on the list I realized the more I sounded like those adults who tried to help me out. The same advice as a kid I ignored and shrugged off. I contemplated how then to approach this topic. How do you get your kids to grow up and be respectable? How do you raise boys into young men? Young men into gentlemen?

The answer I found staring back at me from the mirror.

You show them. Through your own actions. You raise them by setting example.

Man, that scared me. I've always considered myself a halfway decent person even with my many, many, flaws. I have a tendency to snap at my wife absentmindedly before taking the time to understand a situation. I can't avoid swearing or sliding an "F" bomb into a conversation. I'm not the man I want my children to become. I have fought and clawed my way through life until this point where I've finally begun to grasp what is going on. That it's better to live more love and compassion, less everyone is against me.

Thinking on the subject of helping my kids grow and mature into individuals who I would want to buy a beer for brought about a lot of deep soul searching. My kids are young enough there's still a chance for me to set that standard of manhood for them. So what started as a "how to be a man" piece for my children became a " how to be a man" piece for myself. I'll share some of what I've found on this journey:

Always kiss your significant partner. Especially in front of the children- let them know you still love each other and that love is more than just a word to throw around.

Love is diluted and comes too easy off the tongue nowadays, show them that the magic and power of true love is real. Prove that love still exists, for their sake just as much as your own.

Treat people with kindness, especially when it's not the easiest thing to do. Too many people go through this world feeling utterly alone in times of sadness. Most people have felt this way and lashed out in anger too many times to count. Take the time to be there for people. Sometimes those who don't seem deserving of kindness need it the most.

Take the time to be supportive. If someone is sharing something, anything, with you, it's important to them. We live in a world designed to tear people down, there are already plenty of people out there all too happy to tear others down. Don't be that type of person. Everyone deserves encouragement. You wouldn't be anywhere without having people pushing and cheering you on along the way. Through encouragement and support people often flourish. It's not hard to break out the Pom-Poms, do it.

Laugh often. This world sucks sometimes! Absolutely horrible place we live in most days. Fretting over it and dragging through the mud won't fix anything. There are a million reasons to frown, go out of the way to find reasons to laugh. Look at the bright side and know that even if today might suck, tomorrow is only a day away.

Listen to people. Hear their stories. It's absolutely amazing where some people have come from or what they are pushing through. This can tie in with going out of the way to be kind or being someone's cheerleader. I have met some amazing people because I took the time to get to know them and found we had so much in common once the surface was peeled away. You become a much happier person with these different people in your life and will cherish all of them. All it takes is some listening.

Don't underestimate yourself. Insecurity is an ugly monster. If you love something, don't be in your own way of getting to it. Success and failure are parts of life. Most failures occur when you get in your own way. Step aside low self esteem, I've got this.

These are some lesson learned while trying to figure out how to teach my children to grow up. It's really a learning process everyday for me just as much as it will be for them. Even now, writing this, I realize it's more about how to be a good person.

Briton Underwood- Briton’s popular blog, “Punk Rock Papa: Adventures In Fatherhood” is a hilarious yet heartfelt take on being a young father. He is a self- proclaimed hipster and father to two Punk Rock toddler twins and an up-and-coming baby Punk. Briton believes that Jesus loves all of His children, even the ones with Mohawks. He reigns over the blogging group, the “Brainstorm Bunker, a fast-growing blogging group who shares ideas and laughter with each other every day. Briton’s most prized possession is his pair of green skinny jeans. Follow him here: http://punkrockpapa.wordpress.com/

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