New Names for Stay at Home Parents by Briton Underwood

The person who came up with the term Stay-At-Home Parent greatly undersold the job description. The amount of work that comes with being a Stay-At-Home is absolutely unreal, it's not like a regular job. The work that you put into raising children while trying to maintain a clean dwelling is something you can't compare to. This is a job that you actually have to care about day in and day out. You are invested! The clock doesn't stop at five, you don't get to collect your lunch pale and cap to head home. Being a Stay-At-Home requires dedication and commitment that I have never matched at any job. As a Stay-At-Home you are the biggest defense in raising a kid not to be a screw up. You can't really slack off at caregiving without feeling a little guilty or bad. When I'm at work and not feeling it, I coast until it's time to head home. When I'm at home there is no coasting, the breaks are few, and I'm doing the whole job while under constant toddler duress! That's why I nominate to abolish the lackluster SAHP title and vote in a new term for what is, in my opinion, one of the hardest jobs there is to do. With the help of those amazing women over at Mommy's Happy Hour (Wife and Company as I call them) I have come up with some titles I feel are more deserving: 1)Career parent I mean come on, if staying at home with your kids to clean, cook and rear isn't a career, what is??? 2)Amateur child wrangler (under 2 kids) As a parent of two, I fall into this category of amateur. Whenever I try to rope one child in the other one goes screaming in the opposite direction. 3)Expert child Wrangler (over 2 kids) If you are chasing multiple children down to feed, bathe and clothe every morning I tip my hat to you. * *Also, I think they should have a section of rodeos where a parent is dropped in a living room with four sugar addled children of varying ages. 4)24hr nurture provider The job never ends! From Breakfast feedings to midnight nightmare consoles, you are always on call as a SAHP. Your partner might help out, but do they really have that magic way about knowing automatically what's wrong and what to do to fix the problem? 5)Child care expert If someone who spends the day raising their children while doing various house requirements isn't a child care expert who is? Their embody the term expert. 6)Household intervention specialist Again, I have two kids, I know how it goes with toys. What's sharing? If anybody knows please contact me so I can teach my children. 7) Odor Detector- Over time you become exceedingly well at sniffing out the many mysterious and disgusting odors that accompany children. Why would they do THAT over THERE?! No worries though, Sherlock Homebody sniffed it out before it became a real problem. 8)Master of Multitask- My personal favorite replacement. During a routine day at this job you have to make Mac and Cheese, pull one child off the ceiling, call the doctor because the other child stuck something in their ear, and God forbid, you forget to vacuum up the crackers from snack time. Usually all of this has to be done, simultaneously. 9) play date coordinator- Why do kids have such better social lives than I do? I try so hard to stay connected and see friends only to have my plans railroaded because tommy is having a party followed by Holly's tea party. 10) Superhero Seriously, what would be more appropriate? You do everything and constantly save the day while seemingly no one truly understands that without superhero stay-at-homes the house would be in ruins. So those are a few titles more deserving of the job. Do you have any titles you think should be added to the list? What title is your favorite?

Briton Underwood- Briton’s popular blog, “Punk Rock Papa: Adventures In Fatherhood” is a hilarious yet heartfelt take on being a young father. He is a self- proclaimed hipster and father to two Punk Rock toddler twins and an up-and-coming baby Punk. Briton believes that Jesus loves all of His children, even the ones with Mohawks. He reigns over the blogging group, the “Brainstorm Bunker, a fast-growing blogging group who shares ideas and laughter with each other every day. Briton’s most prized possession is his pair of green skinny jeans. Follow him here: http://punkrockpapa.wordpress.com/

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