Robert Frost Must Not Have Been Divorced Because Silence Isn't Always Golden by Aeron Turley

There it is again...that deafening silence. The silence that comes from my kids being absent. The house sounds like it is in mourning every time my kids go to their dads for the weekend.

I walk from room to room seemingly looking for something. I think it is habitual. Usually I find myself going from room to room checking in on the monsters and making sure they aren't quiet for a reason. Either that or they are loud and obnoxiously trying to kill each other and laughing about it.

I turn the TV on for moral support. I try not to text my friends that have already heard all of this a million times over the last year. I put on my brave face and take a shot of whatever I have in the freezer. Then I mix a drink and wait...

I deemed 2014 the year that I would follow through. The year that I would find myself, get healthy and unstick myself from the rut I have been stuck in for far too long.

I did all those things except the unsticking myself part...I feel just as stuck as I ever was. Sometimes I look around and think to myself how the fuck is this my life?

I called my blog Inappropriate Bursts of Laughter because I used to be funny and anecdotal. These days I just find myself being cynical.

Knowing that I am an emotional person I do my best to not let my emotions make my decisions. I think I have made a lot of right decisions over the last year and I a trying my best to stand by them. I guess I just didn't realize how lonely it would be.

I miss my mother these days so bad it feels like someone has ripped my heart from my chest. I try to channel her positive attitude. She would say, "look bebe daught, you gotta get back in there. Those boys know you love them. Now get busy making them a better life" or something like that...I just wish she was here to say it.

Instead I sit here drinking alone and writing this sappy blog.

shit damn hell

I think I need a moto for 2015...any ideas?

Aeron Turley: I try to live my life looking up. Even if it means looking up from the floor when I get knocked down. I am many things in my life. Probably many of the same things that you are in yours. I am a mother of two boys. I call them the monsters. They drive me crazy sometimes, but I love them anyway. I write because I love it and because I think i'm funny even if nobody else does! If you stick around you will come to know this about me. Thanks for reading! Follow me on Facebook

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