Haiku Morning by Jacqueline Melissen

For those who do not remember from grade nine English class, I should explain that a Haiku is a three-line Japanese poem in which each line has a specific number of syllables: five, seven, five. What follows is a series of verses I’ve written, called:

Haiku Morning

Wait, what do I hear?

Is that a kid already?

It’s not even six!

Cereal or toast?

I said cereal or toast??

No. Not pancakes! Toast!

You can’t watch a show.

Cause it’s a school day, that’s why!

Please just stop whining.

Go brush your teeth, please.

Or go get dressed; either one!

You have to do both.

Does choice baffle you?

Brush your teeth; then put on clothes.

Move quickly now, please!

Can I brush your hair?

Okay, you may brush your own.

Stop crying! I said I’d help!

It’s time to find socks.

Here are ten pairs, any good?

Fine, wear mismatches.

Backpacks! Binders! Lunch!

Shoes and coats—no, not high heels.

Yes, you need a coat!

Go get in the van!

I’ll get the toddlers ready.

Go! Van! Van! Van! Van!

Seatbelts on? Bags in?

Put on your seatbelt, I said!

I beg you—just sit!

Everybody in?

Can we go? What time is it?

Crap. Library day!

Yes, we’re late again.

No, not late-slip late, this time.

You’ll just have to run.

Goodbye! I love you!

Be good in school; I’ll miss you!

Phew! Where’s the coffee?

Jacquelin Melissen- My name is Jacqueline Melissen, and my friend Juli and I write the blog www.twofunmoms.com. It’s a guilt-free parenting blog that won’t give you any tips or tricks or recipes or crafts to help make parenting easier, but it will give you laughter and encouragement about what you’re already doing, and we think that’s the best kind of help there is. I have four very young daughters, one out-numbered husband, two very part-time jobs, and no time to shower. I somehow have time to tweet, though: @twofunmoms. And to post pictures of my children all over Instagram: @onefunjac. Find me!

#humor