14 Signs I’m Not an Edgy or Cool Mom By M.B. Sanok

I make my kids dress in layers and wear hats and gloves when it’s not that cold out.

1. I fix balanced meals and pack healthy lunches because I feel guilty and need to be responsible even though I hate cooking.

2. After one glass of wine, I feel tipsy.

3. I fall asleep in front of the TV at 9pm, dressed in fuzzy Muppets pajamas with a six-month old Glamour magazine in my lap.

4. My credit card bill shows nothing but receipts from Target, CVS Pharmacy and Babies-R-Us.

5. I bake brownies or chocolate chip cookies bars just in time for their arrival off the bus, partly because I forgot to eat lunch.

6. My evenings out consist of book club, hockey/lacrosse/cheerleading practice and the occasional doctor’s appointment or parent-teacher conference.

7. The only brawls I witness or try to break up are between two kids, shouting out, “I had it first!” or “give it back!” or “I didn’t fart – you did!”

8. I drive a sensible, functional, ordinary, blue 9-year old SUV that survived a tree falling on it (but, hey, maybe I’m a little bit edgy – it isn’t a minivan, and it’s rugged!)

9. The only men I’m sleeping with (and I mean SLEEPING!) are my son and husband!

10. I’m on the edge of my seat, in suspense, wondering what house the nice, normal-looking couple from suburban Chicago with a baby on the way will select on House Hunters or what chef will mix up the right ingredients of pickled pigs’ feet, kiwi slices and Pixie Sticks to win Chopped.

11. Late nights consist of doing laundry after one of the kids vomited all over their bed and me or I had too much coffee, making me feel edgy, not be edgy, and can’t fall asleep.

12. Every day, I work on a crossword puzzle, Sudoku or word search – and I’m not a senior citizen.

13. So little time to aspire to coolness or achieve greatness when my life is tied to meeting buses.

MaryBeth Sanok - M.B. Sanok is a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom living with her family in Southern New Jersey. She is a contributing writer for Jersey Moms Blog www.jerseymomsblog.com and Virtua for Women and her work has also appeared in South Jersey MOM magazine, MetroKids MomSpeak, BlogHer, Bonbon Break and Moms Who Write and Blog. In her spare time, she volunteers for the International MOMS Club, a non-profit support group for stay-at-home moms. Her personal blog is Maple Brown Sugar www.maplebrownsugar.wordpress.com . Facebook,Twitter: Pinterest

#parenting